The forms were cleaned up a bit and the type treatment on the trees changed. It's still lacking the organic feel I've been striving for but I still feel that the print solution I came up with should do the trick. I also plan on actually sponging some paint onto the print and adding some dry brush splatter because I'm finding it nearly impossible to imitate that aesthetic digitally. As always any suggestions are welcome.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Fresh Air Poster: Current Revision
The forms were cleaned up a bit and the type treatment on the trees changed. It's still lacking the organic feel I've been striving for but I still feel that the print solution I came up with should do the trick. I also plan on actually sponging some paint onto the print and adding some dry brush splatter because I'm finding it nearly impossible to imitate that aesthetic digitally. As always any suggestions are welcome.
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2 comments:
i'm going to write my crits out as they come to mind, so let me know if it's too jumbled and you need clarification on anything: -lack of depth: think about temperature (cool recedes, etc), atmosphere, clarity. right now all the information is in the middleground excepting the sky. some of the air fresheners should be behind the tree, not all in front. maybe the type could overlap something so that it looked like a foreground element? the rendering looks sloppy/lazy versus stylistic (with the grainy brush) because in some areas you're describing the form somewhat accurately and sometimes not, and the inconsistency looks amateurish. there isn't enough variety in the brushstrokes, it almost looks like you used the mspaint spray-paint brush. this might be resolved a bit when you print it out and apply splatters, but i'm not sure if that would completely solve the problem. i think the message you're trying to communicate is about environmentalism and conservation, but it's a little unclear since it's a deciduous tree in the winter, which wouldn't have leaves regardless of human activity. the typeface seems too playful for the issue. also, i'm not a fan of the underline, but that might be a personal preference, i dont' like people who overemphasize words in conversation and i hear some sassy girl smugly proclaiming the message when i read it. like someone on a "humorous" mcdonald's commercial. again, that might just be me... i understand you're establishing a hierarchy, but i'm not sure it's necessary there or perhaps couldn't be done in a better way. overall it lacks interest, it's a bit boring. if i were flipping through a magazine i wouldn't stop on this image. some areas of intense detail or a more dynamic composition might help that. right now it's pretty static and the composition is a little clunky. really varying the width of the tree branch (with depth) or something like that might add interest as well. the background also needs to be described better, the message isn't completely clear with such a mysterious background. also, and this is something i've struggled with, i think you need to decide where you want things to be simplified/symbolic and where you want them to be more realistic. the middle ground often looks like the artist tried for one or the other but lacked the understanding or skill to accomplish it. it can be pulled off, but it's tricky, and i still haven't figured out exactly how, but it's easy to see when it isn't working out.
Hmmm I feel like it is definitely coming along, and it will look good once you do the paper thing you told me about, however, I feel like the "mist" or "fog" needs to be more spread out rather in just two thick wisps.
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